An Irishman
moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the
pub and promptly orders three pints of Guinness. The
bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three
pints, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.
An hour later, the man has finished the three pints and
orders three more. This happens yet again. The next
evening the man again orders and drinks three pints at a
time, several times.
Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who
Orders Three Beers.
Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the
subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but
folks around here are wondering why you always order
three pints at a time?
Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies.. "You see, I have
two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to
Australia . We promised each other that we would always
order an extra two pints whenever we drank as a way of
keeping up the family bond."
The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this
answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Pints became a
local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even
to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch
him drink.
Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two
pints. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This
continues for the rest of the evening. He orders only
two pints. The word flies around town. Prayers are
offered for the soul of one of the brothers.
The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks
around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences
to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two
pints and all"
The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll
be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and
well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up
drinking for Lent."
On holiday in Europe,
Bert noticed a marble column in a church in Rome with a
golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by,
Bert asked who the telephone was for. The priest told
him it was a direct line to Heaven, and if he'd like to
call, it would be one thousand dollars.
Bert was amazed, but declined the offer.
Throughout Europe Bert kept seeing the same golden
telephone on a marble column. At each, he asked about it
and the answer was always the same: a direct line to
Heaven and he could call for a thousand dollars.
Bert finished his European tour in Ireland. He decided
to attend Mass at a local village church. When he walked
in the door he noticed the golden telephone, but
underneath it there was a sign stating: DIRECT LINE TO
HEAVEN 25 cents,
"Father," he said I have been all over Europe and in all the
cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one
but the price is always $1000.00. Why is it that this one is
only 25 cents? The priest smiled and said, "Son, You're in
Ireland now, it's a local call. " |
